Would you believe I was abducted?

I didn’t think you would but it was worth a shot! Lemme catch you up on my life, shall I? Not that anyone reads this, but I don’t really care. Talking to myself is just as amusing as pretending someone is listening. [It is actually exactly the same since I don't listen to myself either.] I’ll break this up into sections.

Back on Campus

Since my last post, I have returned to UT [at San Antonio, no I am not a longhorn so no one respects me - no love for roadrunners]. I am in my fall semester of my soph. year. I am taking random classes to fill out my required core courses.Two sociology courses (Cultural Implications and Intro), Literary Criticism, Economics and …. Texas Politics & Culture (save me). It’s not that I hate my own culture (or politics); I don’t want to learn and read and hear and take notes about it. I only really talk to three people on campus throughout my week [and one person unwillingly]. I’d explain that last part more but they’re sitting next to me right now.

Diabetes

Diabetes is an evil illness. It’s vile. It prevents you from eating the foods you love, forces a change in lifestyle and OMG I HATE THE STUPID FINGER PRICKING…….. ….

Now that I’ve scared you sufficiently; I don’t have diabetes. My cat, Talley, does. I’m planning on creating on a new page on is buh-log dedicated to him and to maybe help other people dealing with pet illnesses. To help keep me at ease, my brother bought a glucose monitor and finger-pricking needle-goodness to use on my cat’s ear. I only test his glucose level when he’s thrown up or acting funny or something but I feel so bad when I make his lil ear bleed. It’s actually worse than having to give him two shots into his neck twice daily.

Bro: <returning from H-E-B [non-Texans wouldn't know of this grocery store]> HEY, LOOK! I GOT NEEDLE THINGIES TO STAB KITTY WITH!!!!! LET’S TRY EM OUT.

Me: NO. I GET PRICKED ON MY STUPID FINGER WHEN I DONATE BLOOD

Bro: DOES IT HURT?

Me: YES.

Bro: LET’S PRICK YOU FIRST TO SEE IF IT’S WORKING!

Me: GO TO HELL.

<5 minutes later>

Me: <splunk [my imitated sound of finger-pricking-pain]> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW <jumps up from the table and runs around in a frenzied state of panic while waving my finger around rapidly to avoid the sensation of pulsating agony>

Bro: It can’be that bad…

Me: I HATE YOU

<we test my blood sugar level. It comes out dangerously LOW>

Bro: You need to eat more sugar.

Me: YOU NEED TO EAT MORE FACE!

Dad: <just coming home from work> CANNIBAL

Me: GASHDJKSAHJGS

… and so, I hate finger-pricking. My cat is better at it than I am. He fidgets and meows but is otherwise okay. I fidget and cry and never get over it and then whine 5 hours later that my finger hurts.

I SHOULDN’T POST BEFORE CLASS CUZ IT’S GOING TO START AND I WANT TO KEEP POSTING BUT I CANT CUZ CLASS IS STA— I AM REPEATING MYSELF – BYE.

Bye Mike

My friends demand I do a tribute to Jackson on this blog because they love him. To be honest, I was never a big fan and I didn’t really like his dancing. My friends say THAT is because I like country music and classical. Ignoring the fact that my favorite music is techno and heavy metal… I’m just gonna decide not to argue them for the sake of time. It’s not the Jackson was a bad artist in any way, it’s just that you either grow up listening to something or you don’t. Incidentally, I grew up listening to Spice Girls and B. Spears and nothing, of yet, been influenced by either. So onto this tribute… I… don’t know how to do a tribute to someone I know very little about, didn’t really get into the music of and… yeah. So it’s either, post youtube videos of some of his songs I enjoyed or quote my friends. I’m gonna go with the second one. So I either called them on the phone or simply asked them to say a few words about him for me to quote. These conversations are the exact words they used!

Victoria: <text> OMG MJ DIED

Me: WHAT?!

Victoria: YEAH. He’s dead.

Me: … HOW?

Victoria: Well, the news said—

Me: It’s on the news?!

Commentary -  Boy, was she mad when she found out that we weren’t thinking of the same person. MJ was the nickname of one of our guild leaders in WoW that I kept in close contact with after quitting the game. So, you can see my deep concerns.

———————————————————

Tony: JACKSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON

Commentary: SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARTAAAAAAAAAAAAA

———————————————————

Amy: <almost crying> I love him. Rest in Peace, man. I’ll miss your music.

Me: You may be the first person to actually say something notably sincere for my blog.

Amy: He influenced my music in choir more than I can say. He’s amazing. You know? Great. You know? … I just love the fella… you know?

Commentary: I know.

———————————————————

Johnny: Dude, he taught me how to dance. <does a move><CRASH>

Me: MY LAMP

Johnny: Heh.. oops. Well, as we say in Jacksonville… <says nothing and moonwalks outta the room>

Me: …. … .. . YOU GET BACK HERE AND REPLACE MY LAMP

Johnny: BEAT IT. <spins>

Me: Are…. are these references?! Am I not understanding because I don’t know his songs!?

Commentary: My lamp…. IT’S RUINED.

———————————————————

As you can see, my friends are horrible interviewees. In fact, if anything, they’ve made me insult his life by posting this. I’m very sorry, Mr. Jackson. But, uh, Amy loves you. So that’s a good thing. She absolutely adores you.

———————————————————

Anyway, may his soul rest in whatever form of peace that I haven’t completely destroyed. I hate my friends and Johnny owes me a lamp. So BRB with money or his teeth!

<runs off>

Best Email Scam Ever

SIR,

THIS IS TO KNOW IF YOU ARE ALIVE OR DEAD.

I am the new Director of Credit Control and Telex Department of Central Bank of Nigeria. Due to allegations of corrupt practice against other Nigerian Banks and fraudulent activities noticed in the Central Bank of Nigeria, I was appointed by the President Federal Republic of Nigeria, Alhaji Musa Yar’adua to scrutinize their activities and report directly to him without taking any instruction from anybody except him.  To this end, I feel obliged to inform you that I have a man here Mr. Rainer Schrutt who said he is your next of kin, he said you died since two months ago. As he heard that the President has approved the sum of US$5Million for you, he decided to come as  your Next of Kin to claim your Fund.

Consequently, I want to ascertain the genuinety of this information from you before I proceed to normalise and reconcile the account forwarded by him.  Importantly,let me notify you that I will be constrained to transfer  the FUND to the account he brought to me after normalization and reconciliation if I do not hear from you as soon as possible.

However,if you are still alive, promptly reconfirm your details for me to send you what is required of you to do for the normalization of account and subsequent transfer of the FUND. I chose to write you through email because I believe it is only you that can have access to your email. You are also advised to keep it to yourself if you are alive until your fund is transferred to you  because I can see in your file that you have been cheated by many fraudsters parading themselves as one thing or the other to you.

Your prompt response  is needed.

————————————————–

Why, isn’t that strange. I had no idea that I, of Nicaraguan and German descent, had family in Nigeria. How rude of him to tell the president I’m dead!

I AM ADVISED TO KEEP THIS EMAIL TO MYSELF UNTIL THE FUNDS ARE TRANSFERRED TO MY ACCOUNT, SO I AM GIVING IT TO THE INTERNET FOR SAFE KEEPING.

Good idea, right?

THE SANCTUM OF PIE

Once upon a time, in the Land of the Reyhnicans, there lived a wise chef. This chef, hoping to please the great queen began crafting the sweetest, most delicate pie that t’would ever be known to man. But the chef was a fool. For you see, to gather the ingredients for this pie, he bribed a witch but never paid her. Now scorned, the witch turned the great chef into the very pie he had sought to create!

Oh woe and tragedy!

But for the love of a good pie, Queen Reyhn VIII, good leader of her people, master of the mango, crafter of cakes, purveyor of pastries, enlister of enchilladas….!, did see it in her good heart to give the chef peace. He may have failed in his mission to create the pie, but now he was the very essence that made pie so delicious! And so, she created for him a special palace to call his home, where he would be safe from hungry, starving rat-people, or – perhaps – to stop her own temptation from allowing her to devour the now flaky and pie-flavored chef!

So now behold! To your southeast you shall find the sanctum of pie! Take heed! For the delicacies created within can only lead to the total destruction of mankind! So delicious they are, indeed.

Yes, this WAS a longwinded way of telling you that I slapped meebo onto my buh-log. I’m usually always logged on and now if I’m not, this buh-log will save the message for me until I am! Yay pie!

Themes

I believe I hate most themes for this blog because when I maximize my browser, the theme doesn’t stretch to fit my screen.
That is all.

/end rant

Oregon Trail – Chapter 4 and 1/2

Day 156: We’re still camping in the frozen rockies and making our way slowly up the eastern side of the mountain. We’re out of food still and it is all I can do to prevent Calia from eating the rest of my journal (I am already missing three months of entries). Alaron was supposed to be our guide but he has recently come down with dysentery and we’ve had to make camp here at the summit for two weeks. I fear he will not last another night.

Day158: Alaron has slipped into a coma. Aeges suggests we consume the dead in order to preserve our sanity. I cannot begin to describe the fallacies of that sentence nor explain to Aeges that no one is dead…yet.

Day 159: I woke up to Sabar screaming in the middle of the night! When I left my tent I came upon a most horrific scene. It seems in his state of mind, that Karym tried to eat Sabar’s arm for it was covered in blood when I went to examine it. I confronted Karym about this but the only response I could get was from his puppet saying, “Mashira hungry, she eats, tu~lu~lu. She twirls, ta~fa~fa!” I chose not to inquire further as “Mashira” was drenched in blood.

Day167: Alaron has passed away. Rest his troubled soul.We were to dig him a grave but his body went mysteriously missing. I suspect Calia may be involved.

Day 170: Karym has spun the strangest tale today:

“There we were, in the foreboding mountain pass of the glacier [what glacier?]. Aeges, the powerful wizard, came alongside myself – THE MIGHTY WARRIOR. [When I asked whether Mashira had come for the journey or not, he failed to respond and continued the story.] We were off to fight the dreaded ghost with a large pack of allies. Our leaders were nowhere to be found, yet I heard their voices in my ear saying “We’ll meet up later. Backtrack to the tower you passed.” so I spurred the group backward to the very tower! [At this point, Karym took a swig of whiskey.] It was… it was horrible. So much blood. Nothing we could do. Aeges said I was not acting myself. Cali said the same.. [Karym did agree that Calia was indeed, not in the group fighting alongside Karym yet when I asked how he could have talked to Calia, he said that "he whispered in my ear". Note: It worries me that Karym imagines Calia as male in his illusion.]

“As it turns out, Reyhn had possessed my mind. Yes – I had no idea where I was. I had no clue what was to become of me. Reyhn was in full control of me. [No avail in convincing Karym that I was not able to "possess" anyone.] And then, so many ghosts came. So many… And we died. Yes. And Aeges grasped at Cali and said “Tell – tell Karym that…” and then he breathed no more. And Cali warned me of impeding danger but Reyhn still had full will over me and she made me say that I was already dead. So many lies. LIES. And then Aeges and I both fell in battle. His spells did nothing to save him, nor my axe for mine own soul…”

At this point, Karym fell into a stupor and sat back against a tree. I said, “But how are you alive and sitting before me, good sir?” He stared at me the longest time before casually saying, “Good Siko, our wayward priestess, was able to bargain for my soul and bring me back to life. I can only assume that Aeges met the same fateful… fate… that I did.”

I think I shall share a tent with Calia tonight instead. Better to sleep aside a cannibal then a lunatic. At least Calia would wait until I’m dead to eat me.

Day 178: Calia and I went hunting when we came upon another hunter. It appeared that we and he were low on ammo. Calia aimed and shot a rabbit nearby only to have the other hunter shoot the same rabbit!

“No, don’t waste ammo. Shoot the ones I’m not shooting,” Calia explained.

The hunter continued to pummel the rabbit full of so much lead that it was uneatable by the time he had completed the task, even managing to injure Calia with a stray bullet.

I fear my hunger is getting to me. Calia appeared frustrated so I grabbed up the rifle, screaming, “DO NOT FEAR CALIA! I SHALL AVENGE YOU.”

I waited until the hunter was targeting a deer before I made my choice. I shot a nearby male, chipping it’s antler. It charged at me while the hunter was skinning his freshly killed doe. I was promptly impaled by the stag and thrashed to the floor but it proceeded to stomp upon the hunter sitting beside me. I was bleeding horribly but the hunter was dying. Calia took up the rifle and shot another creature, hoping to repeat my performance and finish off our rival hunter.

Calia shot a bear.

Needless to say we dragged our bloody selves back to camp where Sabar fixed us up.

An Extended Apology…

To all my loyal readers – all three of you [Hi Mom] – - – - Okay,  two of you -…    [ Mom ].

First I was in a slump because my cat passed away. (Rest in Gracious Peace <3 Tiger Lily <3  June 6, 1997 through April 3, 2009). Is it all too pathetic if I remember the exact date and time that she passed? My ISM teacher back in Senior year told us once that our minds recall super-memories, as she called them. These SMs are memories so traumatic or exponentially awestriking that you are able to remember the smallest details about the moment. Imagine, if you will, that your mind films the occurrence for you and whenever you recall it, it is like reliving the moment.

I have very few moments that could be considered Super Memories. I remember being two and crying in my crib. I remember screaming louder because no one was coming, then my cat- Mitty – jumped into the crib and purred me into a lulling sleep. I remember her smell and the feel of her fur against my miniature hand when I cradled her like a teddy bear. I can also recall every death of a pet or loved one, most traumatically, the suicide of a dear friend. I can tell you the times and dates of all these events, including my hairstyle at the time, the color of the walls, the angle of the sun and probably if the grass was freshly dewed from a summer rain.

But I digress.

Following the passing of Tiger Lily, came my 15 page essay for Writing Comp, my presentation for Spanish II and then another presentation for Writing Comp II. Following those came a vortex of study guides that pulled me into finals. I’ve been relaxing for a week after to try and remember everything I brain-dumped in order to make room for history notes in my mind.

But I am back and I will be writing again. More importantly, I apologize to my online friends, especially Pona (I know I’m not supposed to call you that anymore ), for my lack of being on meebo or email response. I’ve been currently sorting through an inbox of 150 (I’m at 27!) most of them spam from campus activities begging for my participation into groups that want me to perform community service even though I already do community service and dont want to be rewarded for it through a club because I feel that defeats the purpose of SERVING THE COMMUNITY VOLUNTARILY if a club asks me to do it. … Run on sentence. The point is, I find it offensive to offer a reward for doing a good deed. Maybe I’m old-fashioned like that.

Somewhere in there was an apology. Also, I MISS YOU VAD, WE HAVENT TALKED IN AWHILE. YOU TOO MEG.

Oh, and I’m taking a break from Final Fantasy. NO I AM NOT QUITTING STOP SAYING I AM WHOEVER IS SPREADING THOSE HORRIBLE RUMORS [KARYM].

The queen hath returneth’d to her castle-eth. ALL REJOICE FOR QUEEN REYHN VIII! FOR QUEEN VII HAS DIED (I made a Reyhn on Diablo II so now we’re up to 8 Reyhns).

P.S. For those of you who are going to say “I didnt know your cat died!” now ya know. If you weren’t informed, it isn’t because I love you less. It was because I don’t like confiding in people. I’m wierd like that. In the words of an awesome webcomic: “NOT NOW, I ANGST ALONE”.

For the people I did inform, thank you for making me feel better. Your comfort (and even your sad emoticons) made me feel cared about.

Boco log

I created a new page (you can see it over on the right) called “Chocobo Log”. I will be recording my daily care of my chocobo in FFXI there for several reasons:

1. 60+ days of updates would overflow the posting section so it’s easier to  give it its own section.
2. I want to be able to track my progress on the strict schedule I have it on.
3. It will allow me to pass on my hopefully-successful training plan on to another generation of chocobo breeders.

I’m going for a green but the plan should work for any color (just thought I’d mention that since green is supposedly rumored to be created through disc and rec training as a chick).

I want it to be fast enough to ride but retain digging capability. The poor endurance will be made up with chocobo riding gear and my adventure fellow’s chocobo wand for 45 minutes added to my riding time.

You can check out the training outline at the top of the log page.

Refresh, Can I have it? Thank you.

So I’m back to updating. I have grown tired of the old “feel” of this buh-log so enjoy our new, darker, sinister and possibly-evil look!

I like it.

You do too.

Thanks for saying so!*

*note: your silence or complaint translates into Reyhnese (Language of the Reyhnicans) roughly, “I greatly enjoy, appreciate, agree with and respect everything Queen Reyhn VII ever says! -Also I owe her $5.”

New Jobs Announced for Next FFXI Patch!

Tell me that that post title won’t make googlers accidentally click my buh-log thinking something cool is happening in the mmo world. FFXI releases new classes without having to purchase another expansion pack? No way!
No way indeed. I’m a lying lil’ squirt. My brother and I had just logged off some weeks ago and we were discussing what they could add to FFXI so that it maintains its popularity as a some-6-year running mmorpg. We were in the midst of predicting what the next 3 jobs would be on the next xpack (assuming they do release another and continue this mmo after the release of Rapture).

Here were our predictions/hopes/ramblings:

Time Mage

That’s right, suckas. Time Mage was such an underated job in FF Tactics. Think of AoE Haste, Slow, Bind. I’d want to give it something similar to “Disable” and “Don’t Act” that would work like Amnesia does for Imps in Final Fantasy XI [as always please refer to the ffxi wiki link on this blog and search terms if you really don't know what they are because I  don't tailor my posts to explain things to people who don't play this game - sorry]. Time Mage would also acquire the elusive “Astronomical” spells of previous games: Meteor, Super Nova, Comet. Similar to SCH’s new category spells of Helix and Weather. I’m thinking the Astro Spells would be something like Ancient Magic for BLMs; Long casting time, awesome animation and beautiful damage. And make them Light and Dark based spells, SE! We never see those.

I am unsure what to make their 2-hour move. Meteor or Nova could easily become it but it’d be just about as useful as Eagle Eye Shot (no offense, Rangers). I ran the idea by my brother that the 2-hour would reset TP or MP (or some-combo of something) back to what it was at the start of the current fight since TME (heh, I made my own 3 letter nickname) is all about controlling and distorting space and time. That idea or I wanted this: the ability for 1 minute that increases the potency of all spells to the max effect. Meaning, their 2hr would pretend it is double weather on the right day. It mimics BLU 2hr but functions for black and white magic.

Like Black Mage, Time would not get cures naturally. They should primarily use DoTs of some kind and their Astro spells. It’d be an interesting mix of blm or sch concepts, I think.

Chemist

This was the job we discussed that I was REALLY passionate about. Anyone who knows me IRL will know that I’ve been obsessed with Final Fantasy Tactics for the better part of my life and I never had more fun that with my All-Chemist file. I went as far in my love of Chemists as to take Chemistry Honors through High School, ROTC to shoot a rifle and force Balthier in my FF12 file to only use guns and items. Yes, I know. I have a problem. I’ll do therapy later.

Chemist(!) would have an A+ skill in THROWING. Yes, I want a job that actually uses throwing for a purpose (you don’t count ninjas. 99% of you don’t skill your throwing). They will have an actual job ability called “Throw” that lets them toss items in their inventory as well as utilize the game’s throwing for bombs and such in their ranged slot. They will have B- or C+ skill in Guns and Crossbows and a C in daggers.

They will need an ability similar to Rangers that lets them have a % chance to not use up an item when used with the Throw ability to save them some money. The % will need to be pretty decently high because items, like bullets/arrows get VERY pricey and CHM would need a lot of them otherwise.

I wanted CHM to be the only job in the game capable of using their inventory items on other people. Throw potions, poison pots, antidotes, TP wings..  I want them to have an ability similar to Scavange to randomely find items. CHM would also make the best use out of treasure chest temp items. Like RDM Fast Cast Job Trait, CHM would have it’s own unique trait! It would make thrown items have increased potency with a full 50% strength at 75. The point is that Chemists would make the best use out of all purchasable items. They should also get a job ability that either lessens the timer on Medicated status or removes it. Oh, and Throw works up to 30 in-game distance. I think they’re feet? …Meters?

Here’s my radical idea. SE! Add PHOENIX DOWNS. Throw Item usable with
“Throw”! Ready go. CHM 2hr should make all items used for 1 minute AoE effect. Mega Phoenix go. And while you’re at it, make Phoenix a summon again, please. Then SMNs could RR people! Useful, yay!

I’ll add more later as I think of it. We have yet to decide on a third job. Mystic Knight from FF5 was an idea but RDM closely relates to it with their sword enhancements and DNC already does effects on hit like Drain Samba.

Oh, and for those upset by my lying title to this post, you should have noticed the tags that clearly read “BLATANT LIES-FICTION”. That’s what you get.